Journey of 75 Update

As I mentioned in my last post, I think a weight of 150 might be too low for me so I have a working goal of 160lbs at this time. I might be able to get to 150 IF I can add fitness activities to my life. More on that later.

So to date I have lost a total of 60lbs. I have a BMI in the "normal" range for the first time in about 25 years. I weigh less today than I did the day I found out I was pregnant with my daughter (who is now 25 years old). My doctor has removed the diagnosis "Obesity" from my record. I can sometimes fit into a size 10 but most of my pants are size 12. I never thought I'd be able to say, "size 14 is too large" but I can indeed say that today. I lost nearly one-third of my starting weight.

I lost the weight with a minimum, and I do mean minimum, of fitness activities. I've had neuromas in both feet for about 20 years and the pain they cause prevents me from doing anything repetitive like walking, hiking, riding a bike, eliptical, etc. It has been incredibly frustrating. When they were first diagnosed I had to give up wearing heels. No big loss I thought so I gave up wearing heels. Then I had to give up wearing dress shoes, even flats, because the pointy toes squished my toes together and triggered the pain. I tried walking with nice wide shoes, sneakers, and in time that became a problem so I tried the eliptical machines which was also a problem. Hubby and I bought two new Trek bikes and I thought there was no way the neuromas would catch me on that bike but they did. It would get so bad I'd have to get off the bike, take off my shoe and pull the bones in my foot away from one another to get some relief so I could finish the ride. That happened more than once this past summer.

SO, with encouragement from a friend who had neuroma surgery, I saw an orthopedic surgeon who agreed that under the circumstances surgery was warranted and suggested that I have both of them done at the same time. If I could heel-walk for a few days then it might be best to do them both so I wouldn't have to go through it twice. This made sense to me so I had the surgery on 12/21/12. It has been a week, much too soon to determine if it was successful, but I'm looking forward to finding out if this coming summer will be The Summer of Fitness for me. Until then I have some recovering to do.

Journey of 75 Update

It has been 219 days, just over 31 weeks, since I began the Journey of 75. At this time I am unsure if a goal of 75lbs of weight loss is realistic for my age, body type and genetic composition; I have not been at that weight since I was in high school so I have no idea if it's achievable. For now I will just keep working toward it and see what happens as I get closer.

It took 17 weeks to lose 12lbs "on my own" through a combination of diet and exercise. Because I was frustrated and unsatisfied with the results, I started a program called Prism Weight Loss Program (www.pwlp.com) and made a conscious decision to focus on the diet/nutrition aspect of weight loss first and add a fitness component later. Since starting Prism 14 weeks ago, I have lost an additional 26 lbs for a total loss of 38lbs. I have not set foot in a gym, nor have I participated in any regular fitness program or activity in that 14 weeks. Having arrived at the halfway point of my goal, I think I am ready to add a fitness component back into my journey and I think my body will adjust to it much better than it did when I was trying to work out with 75 excess pounds on my frame.

Some other statistics of note:
1) I have lost 17% of my starting body weight
2) I have reduced by body mass index (BMI) by 5.4 points

Additionally, and more importantly, I now have the knowledge and tools I need to maintain this improved nutrition and eating behavior and for the first time ever, the confidence that I can keep it off for the rest of my life.

I'm only halfway across the bridge, but I'm 50% further than I was when the journey began back in November 2011.

I am the daughter of the King. My Heavenly father, who calls me daughter, has loved me, preserved me, and saved me, in spite of my sin and imperfection. I will honor and praise the LORD and give Him glory through becoming the person He created me to be and living my life as one worthy of the crown.

I am an overcomer. Through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ I have been saved from sin and death. I will testify to this truth in my life so that others may know and accept Jesus as their Savior too.

I was made to love God and to love others. It’s not about me. God has given me the ability to put my own needs aside for periods of time to tend to the needs of others. I recognize this as a gift from the Father and I will strive to allow Him to lead me to those He puts in my life to care for. I will endeavor to do this in healthy ways as the Holy Spirit leads me, and not become an enabler.

I am a student of Rabboni/Teacher – Jesus. He has given me a desire for learning and the gift of intelligence so that I may share knowledge and truths of God’s creation, and especially the Word, with others.

I am a leader with a servant’s heart. The gift of leadership is not to be taken lightly and God has given it to me for very specific purposes. I am to lead under the LORD’s banner (JEHOVAH-NISSI) and always with my heart and mind in a posture of servant-hood; not only to God but to those I am leading.

I am a temple of the Living God. I will strive to maintain the beauty of the temple, inside and out, worthy of He who lives within me, and not allow it to fall into disrepair or be destroyed by myself or others.

I am free. I am no longer a slave to sin; the Son has set me free and the yoke of my former slavery has been removed. I will strive to keep myself free from the chains and imprisonments of my own doing and not be subject again to a yoke of slavery by focusing my eyes on Jesus, by faith and the power of the Holy Spirit who lives within me.

I am a new creation. The old is gone. I will put my past sins, hurts and strongholds behind me and not give them dominion over my future in Christ.

DAY 200

Today I mark the 200th day of dedicated effort toward changing my life by changing my food and fitness behaviors. I started on this journey back in November and although I made very slow progress until I found the Prism program, I still consider it my starting point and celebrate the fact that I made a conscious decision to change what was broken. I've been journaling nearly every day since I started this journey. Sometimes, like today, I go back and re-read past entries and I realize how far I've come not only in weight lost but in my thinking. I think I am most surprised by how emotional this has been. Clearly this was more than just eating habits and nutrition (science) and I'm so grateful to have learned so much about myself in both body and mind. I had no idea there would be so many layers to this thing.

One Sunday afternoon in February

Yesterday afternoon we spent a few hours with Abby (5) and Bella (2). We read stories, drew pictures, and eventually we started a game of hide and seek. Abby decided that Opa should count to ten and she and Bella would hide. Things were going along just fine, the girls squealing with joy as they ran all over the house trying to find hiding places. Well, actually, Abby found the hiding places, Bella just followed wherever Abby went. During one of the games, Opa closed his eyes and began counting and the girls ran off to hide. "One, twoooo, threeeee, four... five... six... seven... eight... nine... what comes after nine?" And from the bedroom came a little voice, "TEN!"

Kicking and screaming

I woke up in a bad mood this morning. My attitude was crummy
before I even shuffled to the bathroom for my morning ablutions. I performed a mental and emotional inventory, searching for a source, and I realized that I
was angry that the weekend I envisioned turned out to be 180 degrees from
reality. I also noticed that the more I felt like I wasn’t getting what I
wanted, the less I wanted to make myself available to anyone or for anything
else. I saw myself as a small child throwing a tantrum after not getting
something she wanted. The spoiled girl voice in my head said, “Fine, then I’m
not going to church early for the prayer group. In fact, I may not go to church
at all!” To which God replied, “It’s not about you.”

Learning to take a God's-eye view of Jerry Springer situations

So I was reading along in Genesis yesterday about Jacob being deceived by his future father-in-law Laban. He worked for seven years to get Rebekah and he gets Leah instead (surprise!). I don't even want to go into how he didn't know it was Leah; that's a conversation for another day. Anyway, so Laban basically says, "Well... just take Leah for now and I'll give you Rebekah if you agree to work for me some more." Jacob agreed to this. I tried to put myself in Jacob's shoes... I would have been angry at Laban. I would have felt betrayed and tricked. I would have felt kind of bad for Leah because she wasn't the one I really wanted (and Leah knew this). I would have felt horrible for Rebekah but I would wonder if she was in on it and therefore was also part of the betrayal. She might have been innocent in which case I would have felt bad about having consummated with Leah. My point is that this was a pretty Jerry Springer kind of situation. What's amazing to me is that God knew all of this, planned it all out, and the 12 tribes of Israel came from this mess. It made me think about all the times in my life when I've thought to myself, "This is so messed up" or "Life is so stinkin hard sometimes" but God knew it all, planned it all, and brought His will out of it anyway. All this in spite of what it looks like to us from our perspective.